It is a necessary exercise, to take the bare-bones of an ancient and fading belief, and attempt to reconstruct a personal belief one can live with.
I believe that "Paradise" is the unmitigated communion and fellowship with God. Paradise is separate, holy, and pure.
The Heavens, (or Heaven) are the domain of the Divine. People can't go there. We're people. There is a clear and uncrossable divide between the Divine and the mundane, the physical and the profane. God rules from Heaven, angels go hither and thither, and Man never sets foot there. It isn't possible. It is a metaphysical impossibility.
Sheol is the place of Death. When we die, we die and rest in the ground as the beasts, as spoken by King David of the Judeo-Christian faith: "You are gods, sons of the Most High, all of you; nevertheless, like men you shall die, and fall like any prince."
I believe that this polluted place is our place of waiting, torment and trial. That there are those by example who have led the way to Paradise; St.Jennifer, St. Nicholas, St.Stephen, Buddha, Elijah and so forth. I do not believe in endings, for endings are a particularly human concept. Like others before me, I hold to the concept of limited reincarnation, wherein those who fail to achieve proper holiness and purity, and are so denied entry into Paradise, return to earthly existence.
In short, Hell isn't so much a place where you go. Hell is where we are.
I also think that God really shouldn't have a place here. Why should She lower Herself at all to come to this place of suffering and failure? It's human arrogance to assume She wants us to wake Her, invoke Her, call Her here.
In short? If She's forced to come someplace so beneath Her, it's a given She's gonna be pissed.
Needless to say, my way of thinking never went over well with The Order. That's why it is ironic I am the only one left. I'm not sure what I can do, how I can help anyone. If none of this had ever happened, if Claudia hadn't tried to force God's hand, if Walter hadn't gone on his purging spree, I'd have probably been killed anyway. For heresy.
For God's sake, people, you must know
this. I haven't hid anything from you insofar as that is concerned.
So. Now that the end of everything is so near, why on earth would you think She's going to start listening to me now?